he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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