I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
