John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
