I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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