Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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