i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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