It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
