Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Randomize
