I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
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Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
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As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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