Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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