): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
