But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
