CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
