I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize