how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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