Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
