Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
