Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
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He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
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He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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