so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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