Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
