Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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