So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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