Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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