Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
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Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
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Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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