where does the pee come out of this thing
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Randomize
