I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
