I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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