is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
