Having a random hookup so left but love u
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
