The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
