Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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