So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
