My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
you made out with another girl for some wings
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
