You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
