Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm both gender and math confused
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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