i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Houston, we have a squirter
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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