Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
