what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
