dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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