The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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