After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
