legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
