I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Just invented taco cereal.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
