Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
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