I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
