Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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