I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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