I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
