don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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