dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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