ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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