So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
