But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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