She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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