i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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