after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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