i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize