Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you win again, gameday.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Randomize
