I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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