Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
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