Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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