we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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