if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize