i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
