i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
