So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
