1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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