Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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