i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
