I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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