I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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